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Afternoon

When I am old, and comforted,
And done with this desire,
With Memory to share my bed
And Peace to share my fire,

I'll comb my hair in scalloped bands
Beneath my laundered cap,
And watch my cool and fragile hands
Lie light upon my lap.

And I will have a sprigged gown
With lace to kiss my throat;
I'll draw my curtain to the town,
And hum a purring note.

And I'll forget the way of tears,
And rock, and stir my tea.
But oh, I wish those blessed years
Were further than they be!

-Dorothy Parker

Ultimatum

I'm wearied of wearying love, my friend,
Of worry and strain and doubt;
Before we begin, let us view the end,
And maybe we'll do without.
There's never the pang that was worth the tear,
And toss in the night I won't -
So either you do or you don't, my dear,
Either you do or you don't!

The table is ready, so lay your cards
And if they should augur pain,
I'll tender you ever my kind regards
And run for the fastest train.
I haven't the will to be spent and sad;
My heart's to be gay and true -
Then either you don't or you do, my lad,
Either you don't or you do.

Inventory

Four be the thing I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend and a foe.

Four be the things I’d been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, Content, and sufficient champagne.

Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.

The Danger Of Writing Defiant Verse

And now I have another lad!
No longer need you tell
How all my nights are slow and sad
For loving you too well.

His ways are not your wicked ways,
He's not the like of you.
He treads his path of reckoned days,
A sober man, and true.

They'll never see him in the town,
Another on his knee.
He'd cut his laden orchards down,
If that would pleasure me.

He'd give his blood to paint my lips
If I should wish them red.
He prays to touch my finger-tips
Or stroke my prideful head.

He never weaves a glinting lie,
Or brags the hearts he'll keep.
I have forgotten how to sigh-
Remembered how to sleep.

He's none to kiss away my mind-
A slower way is his.
Oh, Lord! On reading this, I find
A silly lot he is.

~ Dorothy Parker

'Round Manhattan

Wondering what to do in the city on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon? How about doing as we did yesterday and partaking in the Algonquin Round Table Walking Tour.

Presented by the Dorothy Parker Society of New York in the person of society president Kevin C. Fitzpatrick, the two-hour tour covers a 30-block vicious circle that includes visits to more than 40 Round Table-related locales: speakeasies, hotels, homes, offices, and theaters frequented by the likes of Dorothy Parker, George S. Kaufman, Robert Benchley, Edna Ferber, Harpo Marx, and more.



Fitzpatrick, who wrote the book A Journey into Dorothy Parker's New York and conducts the tour several times a year, makes the jaunt fun and informative — and, as a bonus along the way, recommends some of New York's best bars. Beginning and ending at the Round Table's headquarters, the Algonquin Hotel, he'll let you in on the ins and outs of the New York literary scene gone by but, thanks to his efforts, not forgotten.

Fitzpatrick proves wrong Parker's famous quip: "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

Hello!

Hi there - I just found this community. I've been a Dorothy Parker fan for years now and am an avid collector of her books. I've enjoyed reading through the posts in this community -- it's nice to know that Dorothy's still making people laugh and think today. I just wrote something in my blog today about Parker herself and also the Dorothy Parker Society's monthly walking tour. I wondered if anyone here has taken part in the tour?

Greetings...

I found Dorothy Parker about a year ago. My great aunt passed away leaving me some of her works. I was and am taken with her wit, and insight’s. I look forward to furthering my knowledge and relationship with Mrs. Parker. ~Jessi


"I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more."
Dorothy Parker

Women

Your charges, Dorothy, all ring true,
That laundry list is what men do;
But I submit, it's not one-sided,
For women also should be chided;
Our female mates, you must agree,
Are not content to let things be;
They have an urge to rearrange
Just simply for the sake of change;
And when one starts to feel secure,
Here comes a new expenditure.
They have their faults, so many of them,
But all the same, oh how I love them!
IN ORDER TO WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS I AM INTERRUPTING WORK ON MY SCREEN EPIC, LASSIE GET DOWN.